Single, Working Mama Life. Damn.
I have gained a whole new perspective of what THAT is like. And never have I ever thought it would be like this.
Once the decision to divorce was made, all I asked of my EX was to be amicable and to do what’s best for the children. Welllllllllll, that didn’t go as planned. Definitely easier said than done.
Johnny and Xander transitioned SO well into the new house. They were excited, loved that they now share a room together and they both started new schools. The only downfall? My new sitter could not start until January 2021 and it was December 1st, 2020.
SO, being the open and honest person I am, I welcomed my ex into my new home to help put the kids on the bus and take them off until the sitter could start. I was being amicable, I was trying this whole “co parenting” thing out anddddd I was an idiot. Not only did he need a key but he now wanted access to my home cameras, my wifi and sat in my house while I was at work. He made himself comfortable. Meanwhile, I was made to feel uncomfortable in our house in Somers due to him refusing to be amicable and to leave the house until it was sold. Stupid. Me.
Fast forward- January. My sitter starts and so does World War twenty four. My ex likes control, everything done the way he wants it to be done. When my sitter starts, he tried controlling her hours, stating that he would be at my house watching the kids on Tuesday and Thursdays. That is NOT what I agreed to. I agreed to have him help until she could start. He then controlled when he wanted to see his own kids: only every other weekend. I did not agree to this either. Xander is too young to understand but Johnny? He missed his dad. He asked where he was. He wanted to know why he wasn’t seeing his father anymore. I asked my ex to “step up” and make more time for his kids. His reply? “My job is a priority and if you want child support and alimony then you need to respect that since I need my job”. Soooo, teaching special needs students and then coming home to 2 of my own children with special needs; taking care of them, feeding and walking the 2 dogs that you didn’t want…. is not as important than your job. Got it.
Present time- he still hasn’t “stepped up”. I felt sick on January 10th, 2021 at 5:30AM. I called and messaged him asking for help with the children, I couldn’t get out of bed. I had a fever of 102.1, my whole body hurt, I had a massive migraine and my body was shaking. My fear: COVID and giving it to our children. His fear: He might get CoVid and give it to his mother and grandmother. I get that but what I don’t understand is- why can’t you quarantine in your own apartment downstairs? From what I understand, CoVid cant travel between stairs and walls? If so, then should every apartment/townhouse quarantine themselves if the person in Apt. 1 has it? NO. He agreed to take the kids and return them by 2:00 that afternoon. He then brought them to McDonalds.
Turns out, I did have CoVid and both Johnny and Xander ended up testing positive as well. The Ex? He was fine. McDonalds? Not so fine. Me? Sicker than I have ever been in my life and still had to pull it all together to take care of my children. The term, “Man up” should really be changed to, “Mama up”.
All I wanted when going through this divorce was to be: AMICABLE. I wanted to co-parent, I wanted our children to be able to see him when THEY wanted to, for him to be flexible, to be understanding, to be able to communicate. Not just for me but for our children.
And all I got? Anger, negative, condescending comments thrown at me, assumptions made, deductions being taken from my owed child support and alimony. He hasn’t made anything easy. I knew it wouldn’t be “easy” but damn. Just do it for our children. What he’s not realizing is that he’s only spiting Johnny and Xander, not me.
I’m a big girl. My mama raised me right. I DON’T NEED YOU. Your CHILDREN need/want to see you. But, they have me. They will always have me and I will always put them first, no matter what.
I hate to have to address this, but to all the “minions” who read my blog and report back to my EX and his family? I won’t block you. This is MY blog. It’s no secret. It’s just none of your business. My EX already tried crying to the mediator about my blog and guess what she told him? “It’s called freedom of speech”. You don’t like it or disagree with what I’m writing, then why are you here reading this right now? BUUUUBYE.